I had only been seeing the girl for a short while, I was about 26 at the time, and decided to take her to one of my favorite Italian Restaraunts. You know the kind: small seats less than 100, close tables, a combo plays on weekends, the owner knows you by name, candle on the table, menu limited but always impressive.
We sat at the table, and I ordered for her, including a good mateus wine. The place was not too dressy, but nice enough. I recall I had on a long sleeve white button down..
Things were going well, and the wine was flowing, as was the conversation...we had finished out salads and main course, and I reached across the table to pour my date another glass of vino. She was stunning. I lingered too long looking at her eyes and hair. Suddenly I realize, there is a problem.
My Sleeve has caught fire. Apparently the starch or dry cleaning product can be quite flammable. I think quickly and start by beating my sleeve with the cloth napkin. It too, is starched and catches fire. I jump up and throw down the napkin, onto...you guessed it, the starched tablecloth... In no time the candle itself has left its container and the melted wax is wicked by the tablecloth!
The owner comes out with a fire extinguisher...which was good thinking, but as he approaches....the ceiling sprinklers turn on, dousing the whole restaraunt...
It was the perfect HOT date...memorable, spontaneous, exciting, AND it got my Date very wet!
Fire has been too much a part of my love life....
The owner was very gracious and thanked me, because now he would have money to remodel!
Showing posts with label Hot Dates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hot Dates. Show all posts
Thursday, September 11, 2008
My first Hot date!
Melanie and I were 17 and had just come from the High school Christmas dance. She was truly beautiful and I liked her a lot.We had with us, another couple of young people named Archie and Veronica in the back seat of a 2 week old cadillac.
The Cadillac belonged to Melanie's parents, and they had just bought it. Mel's dad, thinking me to be the good, accomplished, honest, and reliable type, proposed that I drive the two girls who were best friends to the dance in the nice car, instead of the 15 year old beater I shared with my sisters. Mel's Dad was a county Sheriff's deputy and sufficiently intimidating. They actually trusted me with their new car, and their virginal daughter.
The hot part of the date began at nearly midnight, when Archie and I suggested we go out ot Benbrook lake and "discuss" politics with the girls, near the water's edge. The political conversation was so heated, that the windows began to steam up. It was December after all....the more we got into the oppposing positions, the harder it was to see outside the car.
At one point Archie stops in the middle of making a Point, to ask me if I smell smoke. I say , maybe but it must be someone building a camp fire nearby. We both turn our attention back to the girls. Nevertheless, he insists their is a forest fire or something nearby...so I agree to break off my Political talent for speaking in tongues, and open the driver side door to look out.
At first, I see nothing, but I feel that I am no longer adequately dressed to investigate thoroughly, and besides, the nature of our intimate discussion is so much more attaractive. I close the car door..
Almost right away, Archie and Veronica both say..."There's a fire". because the seem to have sensed a glow nearby. I re-open th car door, and see nothing. I step out, and look around, but still see nothing at first. As I start to get back in the caddy, I look under the car at this, alien spaceship-like glow,, only to discover the bottom of the car is ON FIRE! Apparently the very dry, very high grass was heated by the catalytic converter under the car and had set it, and the grease points aflame. This is not good....I am in my dates' parents new car, its on fire, she is half way disrobed(because of the building heat you see), and her father is trained in weaponry, as well as authorized to use a lot of excessive force...
Archie comes up with a bright idea. Have the girls and Archie get out of the car, and stand back. Start the car, and put it in gear, and drive it swiftly into the shallow part of the lake, to douse the flames under the car, and minimize the damage. It sounds feasible, in the 2.5 seconds I analyze the concept, so I do it.
I drive the car forward, with the other three looking on....the front wheels no sooner enter the surf of the lake, then they bury themselves to the axle in the muck...so while the front end's underside is no longer aflame, the back end is burning hotter than ever! I WADE, in 29 degree temp, and polar bear club water, back to shore in a tux. I walk up the rocky beach to join the others. We watch in shock as the car, slowly continues to burn, paint peels, the interior catches through the floorboards, the Upholstery catches, eventually, in about 15 minutes ALL the things on the car that can burn, DO. Whats left is a hulk of metal, even the windows bust out some... Yes the damn thing is totaled.
We walk up to the highway where mel calls her dad, and we wait for him. He shows up in his old Pick-up and tells the girls to get in, while hestares at me and Archie. Its a rough scene..
Then he leaves our butts there on the side of the highway, and takes our dates home...
I had to work extra to pay off the deductible, and paid for the tow truck the next morn...I never got to see mel again.
Some Hot dates suck.I count at least 4 hot dates where fire was involved, and not in a good way...but that's another story.
The Cadillac belonged to Melanie's parents, and they had just bought it. Mel's dad, thinking me to be the good, accomplished, honest, and reliable type, proposed that I drive the two girls who were best friends to the dance in the nice car, instead of the 15 year old beater I shared with my sisters. Mel's Dad was a county Sheriff's deputy and sufficiently intimidating. They actually trusted me with their new car, and their virginal daughter.
The hot part of the date began at nearly midnight, when Archie and I suggested we go out ot Benbrook lake and "discuss" politics with the girls, near the water's edge. The political conversation was so heated, that the windows began to steam up. It was December after all....the more we got into the oppposing positions, the harder it was to see outside the car.
At one point Archie stops in the middle of making a Point, to ask me if I smell smoke. I say , maybe but it must be someone building a camp fire nearby. We both turn our attention back to the girls. Nevertheless, he insists their is a forest fire or something nearby...so I agree to break off my Political talent for speaking in tongues, and open the driver side door to look out.
At first, I see nothing, but I feel that I am no longer adequately dressed to investigate thoroughly, and besides, the nature of our intimate discussion is so much more attaractive. I close the car door..
Almost right away, Archie and Veronica both say..."There's a fire". because the seem to have sensed a glow nearby. I re-open th car door, and see nothing. I step out, and look around, but still see nothing at first. As I start to get back in the caddy, I look under the car at this, alien spaceship-like glow,, only to discover the bottom of the car is ON FIRE! Apparently the very dry, very high grass was heated by the catalytic converter under the car and had set it, and the grease points aflame. This is not good....I am in my dates' parents new car, its on fire, she is half way disrobed(because of the building heat you see), and her father is trained in weaponry, as well as authorized to use a lot of excessive force...
Archie comes up with a bright idea. Have the girls and Archie get out of the car, and stand back. Start the car, and put it in gear, and drive it swiftly into the shallow part of the lake, to douse the flames under the car, and minimize the damage. It sounds feasible, in the 2.5 seconds I analyze the concept, so I do it.
I drive the car forward, with the other three looking on....the front wheels no sooner enter the surf of the lake, then they bury themselves to the axle in the muck...so while the front end's underside is no longer aflame, the back end is burning hotter than ever! I WADE, in 29 degree temp, and polar bear club water, back to shore in a tux. I walk up the rocky beach to join the others. We watch in shock as the car, slowly continues to burn, paint peels, the interior catches through the floorboards, the Upholstery catches, eventually, in about 15 minutes ALL the things on the car that can burn, DO. Whats left is a hulk of metal, even the windows bust out some... Yes the damn thing is totaled.
We walk up to the highway where mel calls her dad, and we wait for him. He shows up in his old Pick-up and tells the girls to get in, while hestares at me and Archie. Its a rough scene..
Then he leaves our butts there on the side of the highway, and takes our dates home...
I had to work extra to pay off the deductible, and paid for the tow truck the next morn...I never got to see mel again.
Some Hot dates suck.I count at least 4 hot dates where fire was involved, and not in a good way...but that's another story.
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